A brief cautionary tale.

This picture, of me proudly displaying my birthday crate of clementines, has absolutely nothing to do with this post.

Last night, several friends and I went to the bar.  One of these friends is in the midst of the law school application process.  His roommate was supposed to be home working on a paper.  Said roommate appears, still wearing a three piece suit and his formal wool winter coat.  “I can only stay for a minute” he declared (in hindsight, ominously) “but I think you need to open this.”

Bearing a standard white business envelope from a top-tier law school, Juris Doctor-bound friend shifted awkwardly in his seat and asked, exasperated “You want me to open this here?  In the bar?  In front of everyone?”  Roommate responded in an assenting manner.  The letter was opened, and it was not good news.

General consensus: Roommate should go home.
Now.

Extreme text-based pandemonium ensued.  The rejection letter was mad-libsed.  Alcohol consumption, and thus all tabs open, increased significantly.  While all parties involved are now fairly relaxed about the whole incident, there are some valuable lessons to be learned.

• Standard white business envelopes from top tier graduate or professional schools should never be taken as good news.  (I would amend that to say that no piece of correspondence from any of the aforementioned should be taken as good news – but I’m a cynic.)
• Good intentions aside, roommates should probably leave their fellow cohabitants’ mail alone.
• Three-piece suits are not appropriate bar attire.
• It might actually be good to open your mail at the bar (particularly if you’re in the midst of a highly stressful application cycle).  At the very least, you don’t have to change locations to drown your sorrows.  (Or celebrate…but let’s be real here, you celebrate with phone calls to family, you accept rejection with friends at the bar.)
• And finally, you could avoid this entire situation by living alone.  But then what would we laugh about later?